it only works if you talk back.

This has been one hell of a week. It all started last Saturday when I went to St. Paul’s Anglican and was lucky enough to spend an evening with Peter Rollins as well as some other fantastic people. It’s one of those nights that you really cherish because the conversation is good, the company is good, and you don’t ever really want to leave. This led well into Sunday morning with Peter Rollins speaking at Urban Bridge. Monday night was another fun hangout with Peter Rollins in a lovely 70s cabin by Pigeon Lake. There were many moments that weekend where I was just glad to have met such a group of people… It was a huge blessing.

The ironic things that I found about this week is that most of our conversations actually connected well with the content and conversation in my Modular course that I had this week: Intro to World Missions. That was unexpected to say the least. Certainly was a serendipitous week.

Now it’s St. Valentine’s Day… Or Singles Awareness Day, whichever you celebrate. ‘Tis a stupid greeting card holiday, certainly aided by my singleness.

Also, I have a crap and a half load of homework to do. It’s not even funny. I have to get my arse in gear.

There are generally 2 main categories which my thoughts fall into: those which relate to my schoolwork, and those which relate to my singleness.

School is frustrating, to a degree, but its overall manageable as long as I’m not a procrastinating idiot (which I tend to be at times). It’s the other thing, the loneliness, the desire to be in that kind of relationship that makes me want to just hit the reset button on my brain and start over with a clean slate, and maybe some confidence.

I have a tendency to have a real self-deprecating attitude where I think of myself as junk, which is just as bad as having pride because all I’m doing is thinking about myself… It’s pathetic.

I’m really hoping this state of mind passes, that I do something differently so that my thoughts aren’t so stupid.

blech.